No friends at the poker table. Really.

Played a wild session last night in the 2-5 pot-limit, ending down $170.

Lost my first buy-in with top pair vs. someone who had limped AA. OK.

Buy back in for 700. Hanging around. Open Q2c in late position. New player in big blind only caller. Flop T96, two clubs. Not too bad. Check, I bet 40. He calls, probably with top pair or a draw.

Turn offsuit 8. He checks. He has only about 160 left and has been playing pretty conservatively. I believe he will save his last money and fold top pair or a draw if I bet the pot again, representing a big pair.

I bet 120, and he tanks for about 30 seconds. Then, he confidently raises all-in for his last 40 or so. I'm caught, but I call, of course, and river nothing. He turns over A7.

Wow. How can he call 40 on the flop with a gutshot with only 160 or so behind? Even if he thinks the ace is good, he's not going to get action from me if the ace comes and he bets. An ace or 8 were the only cards that could lose the pot for me, and the 8 was the only one that could double him up.

My hole cards are irrelevant. It's not like he's going to call the turn with A-high, and it was kind of sick that his gin card turned off. I also didn't like that he "fake tanked" when he should have known that I would have to call his last money no matter what.

Right after this hand, the game breaks from two 6-handed tables to one full game. I have about 300 or so left.

As anyone reading this blog knows, I have not been a happy poker camper lately. The game does not excite me anymore. When we broke down to one table, the host called me into another room to confront me. He said I'm the only one in the game he cares about, and he hates to see me just "dwindle away."

He references a few hands that he thinks I played badly. I don't think his analysis of all the hands is correct, but he does have a point, I think, that I have been playing too passively, especially before the flop. It is making it harder for me to represent big hands after the flop and take down some nice pots with a bet. I am also not building pots with my best hands.

Earlier in the conversation, I said, "I couldn't care less if I ever play another hand." He's a little shocked by this and says, "What's stopping you? If you want to quit, then quit. If you're going to play, then fucking PLAY."

I return to the table from the pep talk and immediately double through the host, set over set. We both smile.

Then my other friend in the game, who is also a dealer, joins the game after his shift is over. We have spent a good deal of time talking about poker, and I have really tried to help his game. He has rarely played above 1-2 no-limit. He is in his mid-20s and has mostly worked a string of shitty jobs to stay afloat.

He wants to be a professional player so bad, but he has never had the money to dream of putting a plan into action. Once he started dealing a couple months ago, he finally has the money to play some bigger games (for him) and try to build a real bankroll.

He loses a couple pots and has about 220 when this hand starts. The host straddles to 10, and I open 99 for 40. My friend cold-calls, and everyone else folds. The flop comes TT8, I bet 60, and my friend goes all-in. I'm pretty sure he would reraise JJ or better before the flop to ensure we got heads up. He could also easily put me on AK or AQ and raise with a lower pocket pair than mine. In other words, if he doesn't have the T, I think I'm good, and it's only another 100 or so.

I call. The board rolls out 6, Q. "I have a queen," he says, and tables QJo. I'm a little stunned, stunned he cold-called before the flop with QJo, and stunned he decided to try and put a move on me after the flop, when he should have realized he didn't have a lot of fold equity.

So, I'm back down to about 500. A couple hands later, I double through another player with a set against his flush draw, to draw slightly ahead for the night at 1100. I'm also bemoaning the fact that I lost the pot vs. QJ because I would have had more money to double through the big stack with the set.

Now, my friend opens UTG+1, and I defend the big blind with 86h. Flop comes J86. Check, he bets 40, I make it 160, expecting to take it down right there.

There is no softplay in poker and no friends at the poker table. That is a rule I believe in. But I also don't mind letting my friend know that he is beat. Not verbally, of course, but with my bet. He calls, and I think, "Well, his overpair is toast."

Turn 7, and I bet close to the whole pot, 325. I'm not trying to price him in, look weak, anything. I am screaming (in poker terms), "Get out!" He goes all-in for about 400 more. (He had won some more pots in between the hands we played.)

I call, expecting to beat AA, KK or QQ, or maybe lose to JJ. River is a 9. "Two pair," I say. "Straight," he says, and tables 75o.

I'm shocked. I have just lost 800 to him and am now back to 300. I shake my head, visibly pissed.

I have about given up and am ready to steam off my last money. But the game is now 6-handed, and my aggression actually makes me play better. I make some hands, take some down with raises after the flop, bust one player and finish with 870, down just 130.

I talk to my friend after the game. He apologizes right away, and we have it out. It's every man for himself in a poker game. He put his money in, and I had every chance to take it. (I was almost a 3-1 favorite in the QJ hand and nearly a 3.5-1 fave in the 75o hand.)

What I explained to him was that this was not our .25-.50 home game. I was not going to check-raise him, make him fold and then show a bluff and laugh.

I'm not upset that he put his money in against me. If he had a big pair and drew out against the 86, I wouldn't have been upset at all, other than the frustration of losing a big pot.

I was upset that he personalized the game, shoving twice with what he knew for a fact was the worst hand, trying to suck out on me, just so that I wouldn't been seen bluffing or bullying him.

He is not an expert. (And, of course, neither am I, though I am more sophisticated than him.) His thought process in the first hand was "Two overcards and gutshot, maybe he has nothing, push." In the second hand, it was, "Mix it up, raise 75. Flop straight draw, have to call raise, turn pair, now can't give up, I have too many outs, suckout, winner."

What he failed to realize was his lack of fold equity, and especially in the second hand, the fact that I would not bet that much on the turn without a very strong hand. He stands to lose a lot of money in that game if he doesn't analyze each situation, instead of just looking at his hand.

He was so sorry, he offered to give the money back to me. Of course, I laughed and declined. He's a good guy, and I hope he makes it.

The host called me today to tell me how much better I played after I lost those big pots. I'm not sure how true that is, but it's nice to hear.

Poker can be a very lonely thing, but it helps to have friends, at and away from the table.